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Tomas Gallucci

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The Perfect Solution to Senior Health Care [Aug. 4th, 2009|11:40 am]
Tomas Gallucci
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[music |Trevor Jones - Thirteen Days]

Finger on the Pulse

This has been going around the email loop and makes for a great blog post.

While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my friend the other day, I think we found the solution. I'm sure you've heard the ideas that if you ’re a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let’s take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

So here is the solution. When you turn `70`, you buy a baseball bat and beat 2 senators and 2 representatives senseless. OF COURSE, YOU WILL BE SENT TO PRISON where you'll get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need! New teeth, great! Need glasses, no problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Well bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this. The same government that just told you that you're too old for health care.

And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax. Isn't that wonderful?

And if we all do our part we can end up in the same prison and have one hell of a social life!

I really think we've found a Perfect Solution!

[User Picture]From: ehowton
2009-08-04 12:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's just brilliant. Let's do that!
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[User Picture]From: kat_rowe
2009-08-04 03:10 pm (UTC)
Shoot, do I have to wait until I'm 70? It'll be cheaper than renewing my Blue Cross at the end of the month...
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2009-08-04 03:23 pm (UTC)
Go for it!
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[User Picture]From: kat_rowe
2009-08-04 03:27 pm (UTC)
Sweet :) I did, in fact, just get a Loiusville Slugger (ash) to give my brother-in-law for my neice's birthday, but this seems like a more noble use for it than intimidating teenaged boys.

I'm assuming I'll still have internet access in the Federal Pen? *speculatively eyes the current insults to the People of Ohio*
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2009-08-04 03:32 pm (UTC)
I don't see why you wouldn't. Stay tuned for my next post going live momentarily.
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[User Picture]From: valkyrieking
2009-08-04 04:30 pm (UTC)
Do I have time to memorize the lyrics to 'Midnight Special' First? Or maybe 'Sixteen Tons' would be more appropriate?
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2009-08-04 04:31 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking Sixteen Tons.
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[User Picture]From: darkest_writer
2009-08-08 09:27 pm (UTC)
Yay! Bashing around politicians and then getting taken cared for for the last ten= years of my life sounds great!
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2009-08-17 08:07 am (UTC)

What say thee?

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