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Tomas Gallucci

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Three Stories from Lunch [Jul. 9th, 2009|03:20 pm]
Tomas Gallucci
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[music |Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy]

I bemoaned to whester that I didn't have anything I was dying to blog about and as such I had writer's block. Then we went to lunch together. Now I have tons of blog fodder.


Story Numero Uno
We were listening to Mark Steyn sit in for Rush Limbaugh on the way to Quiznos. Steyn was making the point that under Cap & Trade, if you had carbon credits for sale, you'd want to sell them to the highest bidder. This would give mega corporations like Wal-mart an advantage over mom & pops because they could afford to essentially buy their competitors out of the business. In the words of Clueless Joe, "We misread the economy." Oops!

Question: If you're a Wal-mart hatin' environmental activist, which way do you advise your congress person to vote for Cap & Trade?

Story Numero Dose (of their own medicine)
Some guy called into the show saying he supported Cap & Trade because it would mean that we could get away from using oil all together. whester axed this question: "Why not put a clause in the bill that would tax if you didn't use American-drilled oil?" And that's when it hit me: The Smartest Guy in the Room (aka Our Dear Leader) missed a question on the math test.

Suppose Our Dear Leader did indeed add the clause that whester suggested. With the way that the Bamster has been driving our economy in the ground and his party opposes off-shore drilling, why, you could do a double-tax with Cap & Trade: cap the system and then tax corporations when they didn't use a product that isn't readily available. The misery index would skyrocket. Stroke of genius!

Sadly, this idea is missing from Our Dear Leader's energy plan. So much for being The Smartest Guy in the Room. Maybe he can earn a consolation prize for having the biggest ears.

Story Number Three
So whester and I are in line at Quiznos. The lady in front of us is griping to the Franchise Owner about how the edges of her bread were blackened by the toasting oven. The owner kept referring her back to the picture of the product, telling her this was the service that Quiznos offers. But this lady was hell-bent that she was served carcinogens (a cancer-causing agent for those of you in Crane Hill). She even said that she was going to call the 800 number and complain.

My sandwich came out blackened around the edges. It was a perfect, aesthetic presentation fully of crispy and crunchy goodness. I am personally going to call the 800 number myself and compliment Quiznos and encourage them to continue doing what they are doing.

But here's the kicker: this lady and her two children were morbidly obese.

whester and I ended our lunch break consuming two cancer sticks a piece.

x-posted to libtards
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: celtmanx
2009-07-10 12:40 am (UTC)
title or description

I think he had other things on his mind than the G8 Summit!!!

Like, Damn, white girl, I could'ze sure hit dat.

Edited at 2009-07-10 12:52 am (UTC)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2009-07-10 02:14 am (UTC)
I wonder how old the girl is. Do you think Our Dear Leader and Michael Jackson have more in common than just starting life as being black?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ehowton
2009-07-10 03:24 am (UTC)
Nice!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)