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Rubi Gives Ruby a Lesson [Jul. 1st, 2008|12:44 pm]
Tomas Gallucci
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Ruby had heard about a princess walrus on another ice shelf halfway around the world named Rubi. Rubi's fame and beauty was well known the globe around. Ruby wanted to be beautiful and graceful like Rubi was rumored to be, despite Ruby's lack of natural beauty and clumsy nature. So Ruby had an idea: she'd write Rubi a letter!

Rubi wrote Ruby back with many words and told her many things to do. "First" Rubi wrote, "You must be vain and flaunt your beauty. Give up nothing, that's your duty! Righteous hatred you must claim for those who would seek your fame." Wrote Rubi, "A new song is a must, your tired old tune has begun rust." And with that, Rubi concluded her letter:

I am woman, hear me roar
I am woman, not a whore!


Ruby tried to be vain, but this gained her no points. Ruby sang the new song, but crooned no lovers. Meanwhile, Rubi sat in her palace thinking "My God, what a ditz!"

As for Banjo, it turned out that he wasn't a musician at all. In fact, he couldn't play any instrument. He was a scientist performing an experiment collecting data on walruses. He published his results and never returned to the ice shelf.


seals-1


The events depicted in this work are fiction. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is coincidence. No similarity to actual persons living or dead is intended or should be inferred. ©2008 schpydurx. All rights reserved.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: surria
2008-07-01 07:05 pm (UTC)
That was... graphic. I was warned but like a train wreck you must watch. I think this image will haunt my day. I am not sure to thank you or loathe you.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-01 07:11 pm (UTC)
Second time today that analogy has been used.

Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-01 07:21 pm (UTC)
There is more going on here then meets the eye.

P.S. Don't mind ehowton. He's harmless, though confused.
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From: snapper521
2008-07-02 11:21 am (UTC)
You are delusional. As always.

Grow up.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-01 07:08 pm (UTC)
Without disclaimer = The most exciting, creative thing you've ever written. WOW!

With disclaimer = You've managed to remove all suspense, drama, and story telling to the point there's no reason for this post to exist.

...

Or as galinda822 said, "So he bombed out with both of them, huh?"
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-01 07:20 pm (UTC)
I'd hate for people to get the wrong idea, you understand. This is merely a work of fiction. No similarity to actual persons living or dead is intended or should be inferred.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-01 07:38 pm (UTC)
Yes, that's what I said above. Please, for the love of Christ, belabor my point for me!
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[User Picture]From: texas_tangent
2008-07-01 08:49 pm (UTC)
Talk about making someone wanna cry.
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From: snapper521
2008-07-02 11:20 am (UTC)

You're an ass

You are an asshole. I told you as much earlier but you didn't believe me.

This isn't funny... it's classic Tomas. And then you wonder why both Mel and I are angry with you.

BTW for those of you in Huntsvegas, I am angry with you because you threatened to blackmail me again. That was the last straw and the reason that I am still unhappy with you. I was beginning to forgive you however, this stopped/reversed it.

Brian agree's with me that you're an asshole. He hasn't requested that i stop talking to you, as he knows I can handle myself; however if I were less of a woman and he were more controling a man, I think he would.

You know, Tomas, you ask people what you do wrong, and then when they tell you; you don't listen. :-|

This is a prime example of you being an asshole and trying to get people to do what you want by being an ass. I don't care what you say, or what you do, you are not going to get even a semblence of that e-mail from me. I hope that sooner rather then later you get a clue as to why you are making so many enemies of late.

Until you do, please refrain from EVER mentioning Ruby ever again you know that it is hurtful to me. Yet you continue to bring it up. If you do I will promptly hang up on you, block you, defriend you whatever it takes.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-02 03:41 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

I don't know what you're talking about. This is a work of fiction and no similarity to actual persons living or dead is intended or should be inferred.
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From: snapper521
2008-07-02 10:17 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

This comment does not change the effectiveness of my prior comment. Or the truth behind it.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-02 10:23 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

I don't know what parallel universe you live in, but it must be skewed tangent to this one on more then one point. Of course, it could always be that you can't read English or are delusional. Would it help if I were to start making posts in Spanish?
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From: snapper521
2008-07-03 09:12 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

tu' estas un anos.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-02 03:41 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

Let's put a smile on that face!
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From: snapper521
2008-07-02 10:15 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

Making a joke of it does not decrease the amount of asshole-ness permiating from your every pore with every word you utter upon this unfortunate communication forte'.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-02 10:20 pm (UTC)

Re: You're an ass

You want my advice? You need to lighten up!
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[User Picture]From: celtmanx
2008-07-05 08:19 pm (UTC)
.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-05 08:21 pm (UTC)
You should apply that avatar to these posts as well.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-07 03:32 pm (UTC)
My posts were funny, imaginative, and original you plagaristic ignoramus.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-07 03:36 pm (UTC)
You can't even begin to comprehend the depths that my posts went to, you ignorant fuck.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-07 03:44 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, I wasn't arguing comprehension of depth. Try to keep up. If you like, I can repeat them:

  • Funny

  • Imaginative

  • Original


I'm sorry your weekend sucked.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-07 03:48 pm (UTC)
RTFM!

My posts were definately funny, but it requires more then the intelligence of a walrus to find the humor. My post were very imaginative as you still can't comphrend the far corners of the earth that my posts reached and touched and you can't understand the master plan.

I'd try to explain this too you like I would a child, but unfortunately for you, you bumble along like a retarded child who does not have the mental capacity for comprehension.

Here's a thought, go ask galinda822 what she thinks I'm saying here so that you can be happy with an explanation, even if it's the wrong one.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-07 03:50 pm (UTC)
If you've written something in which the depth is incomprehensibly deep, then I'd have to say you failed. "Look, I'm so smart no one will understand what I'm saying!"

Next time, a more transparent meaning (plagiarism aside) might led credence to your claim. Just a thought.
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[User Picture]From: schpydurx
2008-07-07 03:54 pm (UTC)
Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.
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[User Picture]From: ehowton
2008-07-07 04:04 pm (UTC)
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
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